Hi bloggers,
This week in writing Term 3 Week 2 we writ a story based on a video called the Umbrella. It Is about a yellow umbrella the got stolen at the end.We had to included a simile Here is my writing to show you what I mean.
Umbrella
One foggy dawn, while the dew fell upon the leaves, the door to Miss Elm’s Home For Children sprang open with a bang! The girl with the stunning, sunshine yellow umbrella tiptoed reluctantly into the orphanage, quickly finding a safe home for her umbrella. And not wanting to be seen Boris crisply whipped his head round the door frame so he was hidden from view. Standing off to the side the little girl watched the glorious scene as the children searched in the box for her lost treasures. The girl smiled as she watched the young boy race as fast as a shooting star. Her Smile disappeared abruptly as she looked back at the umbrella stand and all she saw were puddles. Her beloved Umbrella had mysteriously disappeared.
Can you spot my simllie?
Thank you for reading my writing hope you like it.
Kia Ora Bronte,
ReplyDeleteI love the way you have talked about the yellow Umbrella.
Maybe next time you could talk more about it.
I also love the way you have used a good font so I can still see your writing.
Keep up the good work.
Francesca.
Wow Bronte,
ReplyDeleteI love this story is your Simile ,Race as fast as a shooting star? I loved all the adjectives in your writing. Make sure next time you proof read your introduction for your blog post. But over all I love your writing, keep up the awesome writing.
-Beth
Hi Bronte, what a great piece of writing! The words you have chosen really allow me as the reader to visualise what I am reading! I wonder what has happened to her yellow umbrella?
ReplyDelete